I just dont understand why she would lie to me after all the love weve shared all this time. It's Over. A 2009 study found women living with life threatening illnesses were more likely than others to experience spousal abandonment. Our two oldest sons, fifteen and nineteen are going to live with him. Not just on the weekends. Hey, I then made the mistake of writing down what had happened to me when I was a child (I had, over the years, told my wife all of this this was my first time ever writing it down) and from completely out of the blue my wifes response was to say that she knows Im in pain over all of this but that she no longer loves me, and that she wants a divorce, and that she does not see us ever getting back together. Why she chose to lie about this i do not know, but she has been clearly hiding things from me for several months. I like CassieDbut its getting to be almost a half of a year since she has posted. ..I believe my husband has a similar condition. Me if I did nothing then to love him.I asked him to tell me the truth and he said he was confused that loved me but he also had feelings again for her. Most men would be happy to have a wife who takes excellent care of their kids, worked many jobs, owns a business, masters degree, and cooks and cleans. Look for ways you were critical or controlling. My oldest (6 at the time) came downstairs crying and gagging, I continually asked what was wrong and as she caught her breath she explained mommy was kissing another man and he was sleeping in my bed. She wont answer my calls or anything again. He explained he needed to find himself and deal with all the shitty things and pain he had caused to others. 2. I was so in love and i realize it now that shes gone. , Back away and give him space. I received deployment orders to head to Africa for a rapid response unit to help combat the Ebola virus and contain it by building ETU facilities. We started to date and things moved along. I always thought our love for each other would conquer all, but I was sadly mistaken. Believe, shell want you back. and more lately photos on the Internet with him on holiday with a past flirt that came to light on a social net work . Now grab that bull by its horns and take a stand!!! This has been like going through the pain of a 100 deaths. I guess I still love her as pathetic as that sounds. He only saw our daughter twice a month.. Then after our son he asks me to come back I go back and hes still trctong her the night I moved back in so the very next morning with my 1 week old baby and my toddler I pack up and move out again. God the waves of dispair are so crushing. 2. The next day he told me that he did not want it to continue in a relationship with me. He just kept saying it was his problem. I later learned this depression likely stemmed from him not wanting to leave his son, but feeling like he was stuck in a marriage he didnt want to be in. Said that after work we will eat and discuss plans for his exit. Well five years ago when our son was a freshman in highschool I received a phone call from him he sounded like he was in a state of shock. Best advice is to not waste your time trying to figure him out or wait from the call because it is true that life is passing you bye while youre waiting for him to prove that he respects you. My heart is broken beyond repair. Ive never had any depression or anxiety OCD or any mental illness . She later asked me to move out the house to give her space as she could move in and she kept saying I was impossible to live with (yet managed for 5 years previously). Even though I dont know you, I want you to know that I am praying for you. No debt and no issues in life. Im devastated. They often feel offended by what they perceive as a general insensitivity to their "needs." As a result, they're . I realized I needed help, again, and I have since been doing that. I looked everywhere and i sat outside of the area for a long time. I moved away from my hometown with my son Met the man Im with now and my 7 year old loves him His real daddy recently passed away and so me and my fiance wanted a baby sister for us and him meanwhile he has 4 other kids that he told me the kids couldnt keep him at there house. I cried all day thats just a way to release what I feel. It feels better to chat about it, too know others are going through the same thing & it does suck. Here's expert intel on why you mightve been ghosted plus what to do about it. Its awful to feel rejected. If he doesnt respond to ONE request, then get an annulment and move on. We all do. You need to look great now. He seems to be always angry at somebody or some thing. First of all,thank you for sharing your story. How to cope: Try not to take too much of a righteous or moral stance. This is my second marriage and the pain is horrific.. How so? It's pathetic, but true. She never calls, answers and doesnt text back at all. The emotions change, they do not get easier. If you need help finding a therapist, you are welcome to call us. And it may never happen. The reason I write this is again there is evil and i have seen it all my life but the most important thing to remember is the signs people give. Two weeks after I left shes out dancing and posting pictures on Facebook and instagram while I worry about my kids well being shes out having fun. He kept telling me he had to wrk 24 he shifts at a warehouse but when I asked where the warehouse was he wud gt defensive n angry so everythin started to make sense. Spousal abandonment, when one person leaves without warning, doesnt mean youre doomed to live in a perpetual state of bewilderment and grief. Unfortunately these pieces need to meet the reader where he or she is, so there will definitely be different perspectives based on the context of each individuals situation. My gf of 5 years left me bout a week ago we lived at her dads her dad decided to move out so she says shes going to live with her mom but i cant stay there with her so im homeless but a week ago i made her mad she left and didnt talk to me until today when she came to get her clothes. I dont know if hes cheating. I think thats why Im just waiting for him to call or come back, like he will realize he made a mistake. Worst day of my life just praying she would come to her senses and save our family. We were mature, grown ups We did that stuff and left that life long ago?? I have no control over their daily lives with her I can only be thankful her parents are so actively involved in her life which she has thus far been able to suck the life out of them to the point I dont think they will last much longer. I felt like I was wasting his time. Even after this I still love/loved him, but I had no idea what to do or how to proceed. I dont know how to feel. I just wanted a quick fix or at least something that made it definite, an answer, to know there was someone else.I wish I had something else to tell you. I am so sorry for you. He speaks animal suffering communication with dead he has completed changed. But we have a 13 year old son together, and hes a wonderful boy. One thing we never were was abusive to each other but this morning in particular she punched me in the face out of anger. All part of the manipulation. 21 years of marriage, two kids been together since we were 22 and 21. With research saying couples lose the Im so madly in love with you spark after 2 years at most, probably lots of couples wind up feeling like companions. After my heart attack I found out she was talking to an ex boyfriend, having an emotional affair. What hurts the most is She didnt just cheat and come crying back to me, she led a double life for 2 years and left after she was caught. my wife just left me refused to talk or tell our two children and left it all to me in the midst of all my anger and hurt this has caused my kids to completely disown their mother even thou I have asked and beg them to have contact and an on going relationship with her . My husband did the same thing to me. We have a daughter, and kids cant keep a marriage together. Remember you deserve to be happy and there are many other men out there who will treat you right. With a few self-care tips and a whole lot of. Its just going to crush me down the rd seeing her with another man. You want to be loved? She then started refusing to answer my calls, refusing to let the kids call me either. We have two children together. Being in the military I have seen unbelievable atrocities, that others will not believe happened because they dont think it possible. Still, up until a week ago, she said she loved me, loves being with me and having a family etc. I thought to myself what the fk? Please send me strength. I was with her for 95% of every treatment. Wife of 17 years left 4mos ago. Certain stresses have even been alleviated. 5. Any of these reasons could be applied to either partner in a relationship. They often beg not to go back and cry that they want to stay with me just one more night. What a cold hearted person after four years the best advise I can give you is feel the pain go threw it and never take him back but please for the sake of your sanity forgive him for leaving you later you see where the mistakes were made and you will thank him for doing you a huge favor. My estranged husband wants a divorce after 23 years. The GoodTherapy.org Team. Spousal Abandonment Syndrome is when one of the spouses leaves the marriage without any warning, andusually-without having shown any signs of unhappiness with the relationship. They sent phony legal documents to my mom, son and even my lawyer?? He did, yet he got everything he wanted. I am so truly heartbroken. I was sick but it didnt matter. Hes said if theres anything I need and he can help with he will because he wont see me go without because he cares, i dont know if hes saying this because he does actually want things to work out and just needs space or if hes just being kind about the break up because he knows by me living back with my parents that will upset me at times aswell because my dad has terminal cancer I just want to know if I have a chance of getting this relationship back or weather hes just doing the kindest breakup he can x, I have been married for 16 years at first he said we had fallen apart and that i did appreciate him. U keep trying to figure out what happened but he just wont work together andsats he doesnt want me anymore but doesnt say why. Its been five weeks and he put our house up for sale. the first time they ever met face to face was at the airport.love at first sight in her words.the way I found out, I was on my way to work and got a text message. I have never done this before. This has seemed to stifle his attacks on me for being at fault for his unhappy life. My son also gets a survivor benefit which I sparingly use but He mooches food my family you name it. My experience was so unbelievable that I was in shock, I was diagnosed with PTSD later on. One of the quickest ways to destroy your marriage is to leave your wife alone. I take the kids every weekend. You could find a counselor online, most insurances cover it. The feeling sorry for him part for being an emotionally broken person is really gone when you give me choices to betraying me and put my business at risk that I started four years ago. absolutely the truth you cant endure such a tremendous heart ache without the love of Jesus and fully relying on his help to know Christ is the greatest gift on this earth in spite of all of our heartaches and trials and tribulations my husband left me in October of 2014 without of word took all of our money the car is everything personal belongings everything I came home to nothing and I dont care about the the world of goods my heart ached so terriblyworse than a death (my son died) pure disasterunable to withstand the pain in my heart although I was saved I guess I wasnt fully trusting the Lord at that moment I went outside of my secluded house in the middle of cornfields to hang myself and I took pills a lot (prescription) and I drank a bottle of whiskey in one drink I should have clearly died but did not! If it comes to the point of separation, at least the pain will be temporary. . Im fairly sure he had affairs, he cheated a lot before when we were together, lied so much, did drugs and lost his job while I was pregnant. Yea, meeting otherpeople may be fun for a little while, but coming home to someone who knows you inside out is un-irreplaceable. I asked him why is he doing this and all he can say was that he hasnt been happy. My honey told me I am not happy, I am idiot & I am leaving you I have known that she was his 1st true love but its hard to believe that he threw away everything we had for her. Hi Kelly, how are you doing these days? then we went for higher education, there she just started acting weird and started ignoring me also i have seen loosing my priority as the way she was behaving. She is smart and healthy. He was very excited on Friday regarding his news that two lots became available and was texting me of how excited he was. Dick Masterson speaks the TRUTH. Ive no idea where he is or what hes doing. I rush home to sit in bed and wonder what happened. I am the one who needs help, not him. I am disabled and have unique issues that cause stroke like symptoms and memory issues. I am breaking apart because I am getting the divorce process in place but I love my wife. Your partner must understand that they cannot resort to breaking up every time they're feeling overwhelmed by life's challenges. How can I be so blind. He called my 93 year old mother and told her he threw me out!! Thats were the acceptance came into play . How do you deal with him not loving you anymore, he felt unappreciated, he started heavily texting another married woman for over a month, and you dont have anything in common? Something that was completely against my morals as human being. My wife and friend are not really communicating and when they said they wanted to be friends I think they wanted amicable aquanties. Within a month she snaps the axel and damages the side of her car at a gas station pillar that protects the pumps. "I felt as if the person I knew had died. Its so bizarre to go from being very loving and leaving cards and messages and notes about how honored he is to be my partner , to ..we never had it right and Im unhappy and Ive been unhappy for 10 years or our whole life. What did you do to cause her to leave? After 27 years of marriage, four kids, two grands, my husband packed up. I found out last year my husband has contemporary narcissistic personality disorder. I know times have changed and lives have gotten in the way. She told me she couldnt do it anymore, and that she no longer loved me as a partner/husband. I realised then this was serious and we were in trouble. Either way Im totally broken, unable to cope and cannot see a way ahead. This is not a mistake a mistake is backing your car into a bollard or something similar. On Wednesday I wanted to surprise him by going to see him. I know it hurts, my husband left me too. I see him on occasion for months have passed since we actually exchanged any communication, recently exchange some emails regarding my children who are now a senior in high school and a sophomore in college. Im married since 11 months my wife is very sensitive and warm hearted.. I dont think he is as he has a very close relationship with his family. Most likely you fell out of love because you decided to stop loving your partner or you decided that you loved someone or something else even more. Very true unfortunately people have no gratitude and are not satisfied with what they have only look at what they dont, Grass always greener on the other side and want what others have got even if that destroys there own lives or someone elses. .. Ill need it but Ill make it xo, I disagree with your statement about personality disorders. By the time I turned 50, menopause was in full swing and took a toll on our marriage during the first year. Earlier that day she had told my mom she was leaving again but not in a bad way. I have a personality disorder and I know from info I have from my psychiatrist, John Hopkins U and the Mayo Clinic to name a few that personality disorders do have a genetic component. About three months ago he had been out in the garage for a particularly long time (this is were he smokes). This was mid January. With regard to Barbis comment, the article is written under the divorce section so I am speaking to people who are completely uncommitted and have left, or the abandoned partner who has no choice in the matter. He will probably wake up in a few years and regret this selfish act and damaging decision. Not everybody is Christian or catholic!!! She was a part of his life in the past but my kids and I are his present and future. We can use our parents for communication or others but absolutely zero contact from now on is the only way to make the hurt stop. We have some communication issues to work on (as well as emotional maturity on my partner's side), but otherwise it's functional and I'm mostly happy . He is the one who took the initiative to walk out the door because he thought he was unhappy within our marriage. Apostle Paul said we humans face the test of times because we are like animals. This just didnt happen in my family. Anyone in a marriage affected by depression will benefit from the support of a counselor also. I have found pills over and over hidden in her car before she totaled it . I dont temember- FYI Im in NJ. I am totally devastated. a train when It stops you only have two choices get off and get on another train or stay on and go in reverse. Please be strong think and focus on your self and that will then help you look after your self and be there for your child. Last September she said we were over due to the fact of me cheating with her friend. I am devastated. I dont want her raising my kids or even being around them. There were no reasons for her to fall out of love with me. My bf of 4 years we lived together pretty much the whole time with my now 6 yr old son 2 when he met him. We loved like I have never experienced. I am not trying to put your love down. My wife denies it. She is also ready to date a friend who I had welcomed into my home. He said there was no one else and now he is back in his country parading around with someone else whom I have heard he plans to marry. God bless and take care sweetheart. Just happened? I am truly lost without her. My husband is in the military and has spent alot of time away from us because of deployments and travel. Her loneliness for her family is strong. No body cared because he said things that were not true, every time I tried to go to a hearing they would cancel it, finally after 4 months they dropped. Once you enter your information, youll be directed to a list of therapists and counselors who meet your criteria. If I don't do what you want, you are unhappy. I was sexually abused when I was 3 not by a parent / relative. Hi man am so sorry to hear that even me am in the same situation last of last week i find my wife chat with guy sp when i ask her she was fighting and fighting but i cul her mum to talk with child but even kmw we still fighting so i dnt know what to do about this situation please guys i need advice she gave 27 years old and i have 29 year she have a kid i dnt have a kid, Hey Jason, all by yourself. Forgive and love, indefinitely. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Any advice please? Thats not because of you, its because of her. I know your not talking directly to me but it felt as though you were thank you again , Thank you so much I need this and the Most high, Hi I need some advice.. Im married with 2 beautiful kids under the age of 3 .. My husband of 4 years left me when I was 5 months pregnant with our son last year I find out he is sleeping with someone he worked with at the time.
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